Taking a break in a relationship can make you question a lot of things. And it’s worth looking for answers to such questions when it’s something as tough as taking a break. Know the when and how of taking a break in a relationship and why it might be the right choice for you. Although you should try to make things normal even if you want to take a break, you can make things work by showing love to your partner.
What it Means to Take a Break in a Relationship
When committed partners agree to put a relationship on pause for benefit of one or both partners, it’s known as taking a break in the relationship. A break could happen because of distance, an increase in responsibilities, or just to reflect on the relationship. Self-care can also be one reason someone would want to take a breakin a relationship.
Such Breaks do not necessarily lead to a breakup in a romantic relationship. If there has been no emotional damage between partners, they might still have a healthy relationship after the break. Couples need to feel a sense of security and feel confident in the relationship. So, after they would come back together in the relationship they don’t have any relationship issues.
If the relationship hasn’t been working well already, it’s possible that the break may lead to a breakup. A break can just be a way to reflect on the relationship. Understand what they can improve to make their relationship stronger and help partners grow. If the conflict remains then it is likely, that couple might not want to get back together.
Should You Take A Break From Your Relationship?
The decision to take a break can depend on various factors. Sometimes a break can be necessary and regardless of how tough it is, it would be helpful. To decide whether to take a break, you need to see whether you are handling your relationship well. If you feel overwhelmed, there is nothing wrong with taking a break to see how you manage things better.
As per studies, taking a break can be healing for partners and they become better lovers. One may need this healing time in a relationship if you still have complications, it can affect your mental health and also your daily life. If you feel the same way, then it might be the right time for you to take a break. It may help you introspect and find answers to your questions.
How to take a break in a relationship?
Pick a date.
It’s very important for couples to decide the time for which they want to take a break. Relationship experts don’t suggest taking a break for over 4 to 6 weeks. As per studies, couples often adapt to the crisis and find a way out of it within 4 to 6 weeks of break.
Set boundaries and stick to them.
You need to set the right boundaries while you are on break. You may still need to go to couples therapy together but it would be better to avoid any contact for the time. You should also avoid any contact with each other’s family and friends.
Decide if you’re still exclusive.
Experts suggest it would be better to remain exclusive while you are on break. If you are dating even when you are on breaking your decision towards your relationship can get influenced.
Tell the kids (or don’t)
You may want to keep things private and not tell your kids. But experts recommend that it would be better to convey your kids. Make it brief without going into details and tell them that everything is fine.
Do activities that nurture you.
Experts say that doing activities that nurture you can help you heal yourself. You can explore new interests and hobbies that make you feel better. The main idea is to connect with yourself with these activities.
Reconsider your expectations.
It’s very important to set the right expectations that are realistic. Sometimes partners realize, they are just putting the burden of past relationship needs in the present relationship. This might not be appropriate because the dynamics in the present relationship might be different.
Taking a break in a relationship – does it ever work?
Honestly, taking a break might not work every time. In most cases taking a break fails because couples don’t set any boundaries. They go on a break for an indefinite period which makes it very complicated for the partners. It’s very important to set boundaries and some rules when you are taking a break.
So, taking a break would work or not very much depends on how you approach it. Being vague would only lead to complications and you may not get along well even after the break. Setting boundaries and deciding the time for a break would help you come back and reassess things.
Do’s of Taking a Break in a Relationship
Do: Be Honest About Why
You need to be honest and tell your partner the reason you want to take a break. It can be a difficult conversation but you need to sit down with your partner and explain your reasons. Don’t ask for a break in the middle of frustration or argument.
Do: Set Boundaries
It’s very important to set boundaries when you are in a trial separation. Otherwise, it can get very complicated for both partners. To avoid this, you must be clear about what things are acceptable and unacceptable in a break.
Do: Set a Realistic Time Frame
Taking a break without setting a time frame can cause turmoil in the relationship. You need to set a proper time frame for the break. Choose a time which would help you sort out things but is not too long.
Do: Ask Yourself the Important Questions
It’s important to give yourself the needed healing time but you need to address the important questions too. Do you understand things clearly from both sides? Will you be happier without your partner? Asking these tough questions will help you understand your feelings for your partner.
Do: Make the time away count
You need to remember why you took the break. Have you been able to work through those reasons? If not, then make it your priority, and don’t kill the time without working on the things you wanted to. You can explore yourself, focus on your mental health. You can also go to a family therapist for help.
Don’ts of Taking a Break in a Relationship
Don’t: Take a Break If You Want to Break up
People often take a break because they can’t face the situation of break up. Not confronting about what you want would be tough for both partners. Breakup without giving any excuses for taking a break. This would give both of you the time to move on.
Don’t: Communicate During a Break
Break means cutting off from your partner for a while. This includes communication too. It’s normal to feel the void if you don’t have your partner around but you need to make this break count. Use your time for yourself and reflect on the things you want to.
Don’t: Focus Solely on Your Partner’s Needs
It’s good to reflect on your relationship and your partner during the break but don’t forget about yourself. Reflect on your needs and explore different interests snd hobbies. Don’t get fixated only on your partner’s needs.
Don’t: Set Unrealistic Expectations
Nothing is perfect in life and relationships are no different. You need to understand that every relationship needs effort. Both the partners would need to work on the relationship for it to work.
Don’t: force getting back together
If you haven’t been able to resolve the conflict and you don’t feel like getting back, then don’t push yourself. Getting back together even when you don’t want to would only result in more conflicts.
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OK, break’s over. Now what?
If both the partners have been honestly working on ways to make the relationship work, then most probably they get back together. Though, this is not the case every time. Sometimes one or both partners doesn’t take responsibility for their actions. Because of this, partners cannot resolve the issues which result in a breakup.
It’s obvious that just spending time apart from your partner won’t make your relationship strong. You need to understand what you need from this relationship. While being in the break, you will have time to have a fresh approach to your relationship. So when you are done with the break, discuss what you think would be best for the relationship.
Final thoughts
Taking a break in a relationship just means that you are putting a temporary hold. A break could be helpful for you to introspect on the relationship and you solve issues during this. There is no guarantee that taking a break would lead to a long-term relationship. But it’s definitely worth taking a break if you are finding it tough to maintain your relationship.
FAQs
So, what does “taking a break” mean?
Taking a break means putting a temporary pause in a relationship.
So, how long should a break last?
Experts suggest that an ideal time for a break is anywhere between 4-6 weeks.
Why Is Breaking Up So Hard to Do?
Breaking Up is hard because it requires you to confront your partner and as a human, you are sensitive to emotions.
Does A Break Mean You’re Single?
No, break just means that you are apart from your partner for a while to reflect on the relationship.