Dating a narcissist can be confusing. One moment they mesmerize you with their charms, and another moment you are confused and left alone with your emotions. This is what most people feel when dating a narcissist. A narcissist can be volatile, arrogant, and self-focussed. Their sense of entitlement and a lack of empathy may make you emotionally and mentally exhausted.
A narcissistic partner has a charming personality and knows how to make someone feel special by hitting a pick up line or another way because of their dominant behaviour, it becomes distressful and emotionally chaotic to continue a long-term healthy relationship.
People with narcissistic personality disorder have an inflated sense of self and little regard for others. We can consider them as radical personalities who can be cold-hearted and have an excessive need for admiration.
When you spend years with a manipulative person, you change yourself unknowingly to accept your new relationship. These bottled-up emotions may create havoc within yourself, shutting you away from others.
How Dating a Narcissist Changes You in a Bad Way
Just like there are two sides to a coin, there are two extreme behaviour patterns of a narcissist. Dating a narcissist can change your life in a huge way, whether you dated them for a few months or years. The change happens after a phase of realization. You feel attracted and tempted by their charming personality. Eventually, you begin to understand their true nature.
But while you’re in a romantic relationship with a narcissist, it is hard to accept that the “Prince Charming” of your dreams is abusive. Here are some red flags to consider if you’re in such a relationship.
You second guess your own opinions
Narcissists like to be in control of their lives and decisions. So when it comes to taking feedback or listening to an opinion, they cannot tolerate that. A narcissist will make you feel that you’re wrong. So every time you say something, you second guess yourself. And rethink whether your opinions are right. You start seeking their validation for the smallest things.
You live in a world of fantasy
When you first met your partner, you were swept by their charm and romance that you started ignoring the small red flags. You have idealized them so much that you’re unable to let go of this relationship.
You May Feel Like You Have No Identity
A narcissist has a very dominating personality, narcissist becomes out of control when they can’t control you, as they are manipulative, making you confused about how to deal with dating a narcissist. Being in a relationship with a narcissist can make you feel worthless because of their extreme influence on your relationship. They may isolate you so that you avoid talking about them to others. This way, you’re always under their influence.
You Defend or Enable Abuse
It’s always difficult to accept that your loved ones are wrong. When in a romantic relationship, we often defend our partner, praise them, and even overlook their narcissistic behaviour. It isn’t your fault, but the reality is – you are enabling such narcissistic abuse in your relationship.
You Have Trust Issues
A relationship with a narcissist can be a very traumatic experience that may leave you with trust issues. With all the manipulation and gaslighting, you have started doubting your own conscience. When you truly understand narcissistic behaviour, you realize how people hide their true selves behind a facade of charisma. Emotional abuse, make it difficult to trust another person and your own judgments.
You Feel Paranoid About Them Coming Back
Many narcissists use various strategies to bring you back into their toxic relationship. They may return to you saying they have changed and want you back in their life. Only to realize that you walked back into narcissistic emotional abuse and distress. They also try to convince you by creating pressure or talking to your friends and family talking poorly about you.
You Question Yourself Constantly
Narcissists know how to manipulate and shift the blame on someone else. They persuade you to think that you are wrong and because of this, you have the tendency to seek their validation for even the smallest things. You are under-confident about your opinions and have become disturbed by this behaviour.
How Dating a Narcissist Changes You in a Good Way
A toxic relationship with a narcissistic partner can leave you traumatized and emotionally exhausted. When you finally break through such a narcissistic relationship, even though you’re feeling hurtful and damaged, you become a much stronger person. It’s better if you could identify these signs as early as possible. Not all toxic beginnings have to end traumatically.
You Learn Self-Respect
When you’re stuck and manipulated in an abusive relationship, it isn’t easy to build the courage to end that relationship. Narcissists do not let their partners go easily. They reach out to bring you back to their chaos. Despite all of this, when you end such a relationship to pursue peace and happiness, you learn how significant is self-respect.
You Learn How to Cope With Grief
The powerful personality of a narcissist makes moving on very difficult. Their charismatic charmer personality, yet abusive and arrogant, may take a toll on your emotional well-being. You may become tempted to give them another chance, rethink your decision, or experience pain. After these stages of grief and narcissistic abuse, you end up stronger emotionally and mentally to face any challenges in life.
You’ll Be More Careful in Future Relationships
The extreme and chaotic behavior of a narcissist can make you untrustful towards a new partner. You might blame yourself for letting yourself get abused by your partner and making the wrong call at the beginning. You might also not have the willingness to let a new person into your life. However, this mindset can make you more intuitive and help you read in between the lines.
You Recognize How Much Boundaries Matter
In a narcissistic relationship, you were so accustomed to your partner’s life – you started to lose your own integrity and self-worth. You learn how much setting personal boundaries matter. It is crucial that we all give ourselves a personal space to relax, enjoy, and replenish our mental energy. The constant control and manipulation teach you the significance and honouring one’s boundaries.
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Conclusion
Throughout your relationship, you have made your narcissistic partner your top priority in life. You’ve ignored many red flags, thinking maybe it was you who was wrong eventually, you realize the narcissist relationship patterns. You’re stuck with an abusive partner who has neglected and abandoned you emotionally.
Many narcissists stick around and do not let you go. They keep coming back to you, promising they’ve changed. Most people with narcissistic personality disorder are not even aware of it. Create healthy boundaries and do not let anyone run over your self-esteem or identity, be it your romantic partner.
FAQs
What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
It’s a personality disorder. Such a person is self-centric, lacks empathy, cannot handle constructive criticism, and puts their own needs above others.
What Do Narcissists Do to Their Partners?
True narcissists love bombs their partners and promise the world. But eventually, they overshadow their partners, making them feel emotionally exhausted.
How long does the average relationship last with a narcissist?
There are people engaged and even married to a narcissistic partner for years. Typically, narcissists are manipulative and do not let go of their partners easily.
Can you successfully date a narcissist?
Narcissist dating patterns are extreme and most people have experienced a traumatic outcome. So, it depends on how extreme your partner is, or whether it is worth saving.