Apologizing is often easier said than done. An apology does not need to take much time, It just needs to be the right words at the right moment. Therefore, it’s very important to know how to apologize to someone you hurt deeply. Without hitting the pain points of the matter you won’t be able to give an effective apology. If you use these tips right, you would be able to deliver a genuine apology and can also hit a pick up line to make them laugh.[toc]
How to apologize to someone you hurt deeply
Apologies are only effective if you deliver it the right way. If you won’t put much thought into how you are going to apologize, then it can backfire. You would need to know how to say sorry for someone you hurt. Just like many other things, there are some basics that you need to understand and follow before apologizing. If you would know how to apologize to someone you hurt, you can get forgiveness from even the hardest person.
Table of Contents
Recognize the Reasons to Apologize
You need to understand the reason for which you are apologizing and which mistake of yours has hurt someone. You would need to acknowledge whatever went wrong and accept your mistake with no cover-up. Express what are things you regret and could have done better and show your remorse. Don’t cut off the communication, instead deal with the situations and learn from your mistakes.
Just apologizing for the sake of getting out of the situation without understanding your mistake isn’t effective. Although just a sincere apology won’t clear off every mistake you make but other people would get to know that you feel genuinely sorry for your mistakes. Not understanding your mistake can ruin your relationship with others.
The words “I’m sorry” aren’t always enough
Just saying sorry doesn’t work, you would need to reflect on your mistakes and work on getting better. You need to ask yourself, why should someone forgive you? If the mistake is something silly, then it would be pretty easy to find an answer. If you have made a big mistake in your personal or professional life, then you need to put in the effort. You would have to give yourself time to introspect on understanding the situation better.
The other person should feel that you are genuinely feeling sorry for your mistake and would not repeat the same thing. Once someone feels that you will improve and you have understood your mistake, they might forgive you. You would need to understand what might have hurt the other person if you want the apology to be effective.
Taking responsibility is one of the most important things if you want to genuinely apologize to someone. Your “sorry” won’t help you in getting forgiveness if you are not ready to take responsibility for your mistakes. Don’t be vague instead, be specific about your mistakes.
Being vague shows that you’re not accepting your mistake or you don’t think that you have done anything wrong. This can make the situation worse. Understand the things that might have hurt the other person and then point it out. Never make assumptions about anything and don’t blame someone else for your mistake.
Expressing regret shows you want to work on your actions and if given another chance, you wouldn’t repeat the same thing. Most of the time, regret is directly linked to the feeling of being sorry for your actions. If you feel genuinely sorry about something, you would wish that you would not have done that.
Along with taking responsibility, it’s also important to express to the other person how bad you feel about your actions. Telling them you wish you hadn’t done or said some things that you did can make your apology very effective. The other person is already hurt so they would want to know how you feel for what you have said or done.
When you are apologizing to someone, then don’t counter by arguing. If you are arguing about something, then it’s not an apology. It gives an impression that you still haven’t accepted your mistakes and you still think what you did was right. Avoid any type of argument when you are apologizing to someone.
Don’t cover up your mistakes by making excuses and pushing the blame to someone else. Don’t try to prove the other person wrong, let the other person speak whatever they have to say. You need to understand that the other person is hurt and their reaction might not be very rational.
Let them know you realize your mistake
Express that you have understood your mistake and point out all your mistakes. If you want the apology to be effective, then you need to hit the pain points. If the other person doesn’t feel that you have realized your mistake they are never going to accept your apology. You need to communicate with them effectively and explain whatever things you think are wrong.
You would also need to explain how you are trying not to repeat those mistakes. Introspect well and tell them what you think was the reason behind your mistake. Work on your mistake without making any excuses. Self-criticism can also be very helpful if you want to tell them that you have understood your mistake.
Show that you’re working on yourself
Asking for forgiveness is just one part of the apology. If you want the apology to work, then you would need to put effort into your actions. Once you have realized what your mistakes are, work on improving and avoiding those mistakes. Most people don’t want just an apology, they want the assurance that you would not repeat the mistakes.
It becomes even more crucial if you have already been repeating your mistake and hurting the same person because of it. Your apology doesn’t hold any meaning if you have been repeating your mistakes. Understand the areas that you need to work on if you want to avoid repeating your mistakes.
Never expect immediate forgiveness
Don’t think of getting forgiveness immediately after apologizing. Let the other person take time to think and decide, give them their space without forcing things. Understand that they got hurt because of you so it would take time for them to accept your apology. Giving another chance is tough to decide because there is always a fear that one can repeat the same mistake.
Being too hasty about getting forgiveness shows that you don’t respect their emotions. All you care about is being on the good side and your impression is the only thing that matters to you. Forcing someone to take a quick decision can also backfire and you might not get forgiveness at all.
Knowing how to apologize to someone you hurt deeply is very important if you sincerely want to apologize to someone. You would need to accept your mistakes and work on them without making any excuses. It shows that you care about the other person and genuinely want to make things better between you two. Being ignorant about your mistakes and avoiding apologizing properly can ruin your relationships with many people.
How to Know If Your Apology Was Accepted?
Most of the time people accept an apology by telling you they have accepted it. If they haven’t told you straight up, then they might act normal as before.
Why is it so hard to say “I was wrong”?
It’s our ego that stops us from accepting our mistakes. Things look right from our perspective and that’s why it becomes tough to accept that we are wrong.
Why should you apologize?
You should apologize if you don’t want your relationship and reputation to be tarnished because of your mistakes.