Life is crazy. You see your faith in love slowly subsiding when the number of successful relationships is less than breakups. When you are at the lowest phase of your life, the universe conspires to make you meet a person that makes your heart skip in a way you haven’t ever felt before. Things move ahead, you fall in love and mutually decide to take a big leap in a relationship. Cafes, long drives, weekend outings become a new normal, and spending even a minute away from your partner seems terrible. There has to be a flip side to this perfect never-ending adorable love story. And this flipside is long-distance, although you can use the best pick up lines to impress your long-distance partner.
In the era of technology, where people have an opinion that unlimited access to the internet, face-timing, stories, and snapshots make long-distance a cakewalk is a myth. Indeed these are aids that help you stay connected with your partner much better. But long-distance at any point of time for any duration is difficult. Technology can’t make up for the warmth you felt while you both cuddled, being teleported into some other world while they held your hands and gave you those assuring forehead kisses. No amount of video calls and face timing can make you feel that. This explains why there’s always a pessimistic thought process revolving around the idea of long-distance. Ask the majority of your friends for advice on long-distance, and they will tell you long distances hardly work.
No matter how strong you are as a couple, after hearing such thoughts, you are bound to get apprehensive about the future course of your relationship. The good news is, not all long-distance relationships suck. While the successful ones are very few in number, they do exist, and through miles and miles of distance, some couples manage to make it work. As partners, the first thing you need to do is believe in yourselves, believe in your love, and trust the process to understand that there’s a way out. It’s just a matter of time, and this phase shall also pass. While different couples have their ways to make long-distance successful. Here are some sure-shot tips on how to make a long-distance relationship work.
Have A Life Outside Your Relationship
Long Distance Relationships require a lot of sacrifices. While making these sacrifices, there’s a probability of you losing track of time and your personal life events. Thus it becomes vital to know how much sacrifice is needed. Devoting a lot of your precious time can result in regret and annoyance which translates into resentment and aggression. This nightmare may especially turn true in cases where the duration of your long-distance suddenly gets extended due to different reasons. Whether these reasons are personal or professional doesn’t matter, but you don’t even realize when your friendships, loved hobbies, and interests take a back seat during this whole process. You start repenting about how you wish you would have given equal priority to all these factors and not just put your everything in a single person. For times like these, you need to strike a balance and differentiate between your personal and relationship bond.
There’s one more advantage of having a life outside your relationship. By pursuing your hobbies and going on outings with your close ones, for those particular hours, you get distracted from the distraught caused due to the distance in your relationship. Rather than the distance getting in the way of your mental peace, you realize how much you can explore outside this partnership. This makes you glee with joy, and if you’re happy, it will reflect in your personality, making your partner happy as well.
Take Out Time For Each Other
Being in a long-distance relationship, it is realistically impossible to be a part of someone’s daily life. Nonetheless, it is important to take that time out of your day and call them and ask them about their day. Living in a world where everyone has a viable internet connection and a camera in almost every phone, be it a smartphone or not, it is easier to see each other. The features like facetime, skype, video calls have reduced those time differences to zero and brought you closer.
If any one of you knows any instrument, then who will stop you from having a musical date night. You can decide with your partner and schedule a zoom call on a day of the week and have a movie date. You will definitely have something to look forward to throughout the whole week. Keep changing platforms as it is necessary to spice things up, even if it’s virtually.
Come up with Interesting Ways To Hang Out Together
Spending time with your partner is an essential requirement, whether it’s long-distance or not. Anyone who is in a relationship understands the importance of spending time together. Doing activities or going on movie dates deepen your understanding of your partner. This, in turn, strengthens your relationship. When in long-distance spending quality time together becomes a challenge. Thanks to technology, there are multiple creative ways to spend your time, even when physically apart. There are several OTT Platforms like Netflix, Prime, Hotstar, and others that provide exceptional content in all genres. You can fix a mutual date and time and binge-watch your favourite shows using the watch party feature. To make the whole experience more authentic, bring in your favourite snacks that the two of you would usually hog at. Watching shows this way will help you to come up with fresh topics and keep the conversations exciting.
There are other websites where you can play games like UNO, Ludo, Scramble, and others that give you that adrenaline rush. When you both have nothing to talk about, you can even do some fun quizzes. There are plenty of them available online. If both of you are voracious readers, you can start your own remote book club. Pick new books that both of you have been wanting to read for a long time, and read together, set targets, and have discussions about them. These are just some of the few long-distance activities you can do to have a good time with your partner and not let the distance affect your bond. Whatever you do, just keep in mind to stay connected with your partner and spend a pleasant time with them.
Be Careful Before Jumping On To Conclusions
There is a common human tendency that affects your thought process in various unprecedented ways when apart. We forget about the true nature of the person. Whenever we are separated by distance and have little to no exposure of a person physically, we start drawing our own conclusions and make exaggerated assumptions about the smallest event. Making opinions without having listened to your partner can have serious effects. You go crazy, get extremely jealous, and become extremely possessive about your partner’s whereabouts. This happens because we see even a small outing or a genuine friendship as a threat to our relationship. You irrationally argue about a comment on their Instagram post or about their stories and calls.
In some cases, the partners even become extra critical and cautious to the point that they see any small mistake of their partner as the end of their relationship. For example, if your partner couldn’t be present for your pre-decided movie date due to a power cut, they think that this is the end. The other half doesn’t like me anymore and has no interest in spending some time together.
In all such cases, the first thing you need to do is take a deep breath in and Pause! Give yourself some time to listen to your partner first, be patient, and not just form opinions based on a few outings or a social media post. Trust your partner, be patient and most importantly keep faith in your bond. There’s no need to be over-suspicious about every little thing and hear them out about whether they are going through any difficulties. If you feel less involved in their lives, instead of panicking, communicate your insecurities and thoughts in an honest manner.
Create Common Goals
It is necessary to look forward to things in life. Having shared goals causes a sense of companionship between two people. If you think that both of you can make this relationship work, then you can set long-term goals with your partner. Imagine having cute date nights where you and your partner, on a call, dream about the future. Deciding on achievable goals and thoughts of living together are sure to ignite the spark that you had lost. Having set a few goals helps to keep things in perspective and keeps you motivated to achieve your personal goals so that you can move on to your shared goals. It will create a positive environment for your relationship to flourish as well as give space for each other to grow.
Understand Your Partner’s Reasons for Staying Away
If you are in a loving relationship, then it is natural to feel like staying close to your partner forever. It is the comfort and the feeling of homeliness that make it tough to stay away. We may always come across situations where we don’t have a choice but to move to a different city. Be it a university, jobs, deployments, or even familial reasons; every relationship goes through this gruelling phase of staying apart. In this period, you need to understand your partner’s feelings. It might not be even their choice to move away, rather their obligation to do so. Yes, it is okay to feel sad during this period, but don’t make your partner feel guilty about it. It is just not a healthy exercise. There will be lows, arguments ensued by fights as you miss important dates, but it is necessary to know that long-distance relationships are just a phase, and this too shall pass. You two will be together in each other’s arms sooner or later. Remember it is just a test of time, give it, and you will have memories to cherish forever.
Appreciate Each Other
The roots of every successful relationship initiate from positivity, respect, and good vibes. In long-distance, there will be times when one partner gets jealous, insecure, or immersed in some other work. These emotions can act as a significant catalyst to bring your relationship on the path of destruction and ruin your bond. In Long Distance, communication plays an important role as there is no scope of non-verbal intimacy. You need to choose your words wisely and acknowledge your partner’s sacrifices, determination, and love towards you. Remember those good old days when you used to order your favourite dish, laugh at your own jokes, and bitch about the person you disliked. Talk about those memories, highlight the unique qualities of your partner and make them feel loved. When they are low, tell them how much their presence affects you in a good way. If there’s a lack of communication from their side, don’t be afraid to ask for some kind words to re-instil love. Make them feel wanted and surprise them with some old-school gestures like a letter or some gifts to let them know that you matter to them.
Long-distance relationships are difficult to sustain but looking back at them, you only realize how much the distance made you grow fonder of your partner. If dealt with it rightly, you get to have some of the most amazing memories and self-growth when separated. True love is devoid of distance, and successful long-distance relationships are a testimony to that fact.