Dating a single dad can be tough to handle, especially if you’re illiterate in the whole single parenting scene. It might seem like a waste of time to try dating a dad and get into his life when he has already got so much going on for him.
One thing you need to remember is that no matter how challenging dating a single father is for you, it’s always double challenging for him, if not more. That’s the reason why there aren’t many single dads dating out there because the answer to how to date as a single dad is pretty complicated.
Not to say that you should suck up and date a guy who can’t give you enough time but at least give the man a chance because single father dating is not easy.
What to Expect When Dating a Single Dad?
There are several things to know and expect when dating a single dad, although you should always try to keep things on track.
- It’s a long road before you become his priority.
- You won’t have the luxury of spontaneity as all the plans would require thorough planning.
- Do not expect lavish gifts as a single dad already has too many bills to pay.
- He is probably not aware of what’s trending on the dating front.
- He might be in touch with the mother of his child or children.
- Once the dating [getting to know each other] phase of the relationship is over, he might get earnest about you.
- You won’t get to meet his kids ASAP.
- He might not want to have kids again.
Tips for Dating a Single Dad
If you feel a genuine connection with a single father and want things to work out between the two of you, you’ll have to work a little more complicated. Here are a few tips to help you get the best out of your relationship with a single dad:
Be Supportive
More often than not, you’ll have to make do with dates at his place because there is no babysitter available to watch the kids. Or he couldn’t make time for a date altogether. Or everything is stressing him out. Since he already has a lot on his plate of responsibilities, you need to make him believe that you’re not adding to that plate.
The best single dad dating advice is that you must be the support system that he can rely on in desperate times instead of another obligation to check off in his to-do list.
Have Patience
Patience when dating a single dad is the ultimate tip here because it’s probably hard for a single dad to open up to a newcomer after a failed relationship or dead partner [in case he’s a widower] he might seem closed off, not wanting to share too much about his life and work. Do not get frustrated if it looks like you’re talking to a wall. Just have patience, and he’ll come around to sharing the tiniest of details with you.
Be prepared to deal with his ex.
If he’s not a widower, the mother of his child might still be in the picture. She might come for dinner sometime or call to check in on the kid/kids but that’s something you’ll have to be prepared for beforehand.
She could seem intimidating to you, but maybe she’s cool with your status with the father of the kid/kids. You shouldn’t worry about him and the mother of his kids even if your subconscious tells you so.
Know when to meet his kids
Just as said above, you won’t get to meet his kids ASAP. The kids’ father would first make sure you’re here to stay because he wouldn’t want his kids to get close to you and then suffer the heartache when you are gone. They already had that when their mom left.
Maybe the kids are not okay with the idea of daddy going out with another woman. Or perhaps they think you’d take on the ‘mom’ role.
In any case, even if you are ready to meet the kids, let the kids be prepared to meet you and give you a chance before you ring their doorbell.
Take the lead in bed.
You can’t expect a single father to put up his A-game everywhere. He was a good father and helped with kids’ homework and school stuff. A full-time job to pay the bills. He is maintaining the house and preparing breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And a list of things he has to do every day before bed.
So, it’s natural for him to be exhausted at the end of the day. But don’t let your sex life be paused in this list. Take the lead.
Learn to work with his schedule
So far, we have established that dating as a single father is no easy thing. Between his kids, home and job, there’s merely any time left for other things but don’t let that stop you. It might be not easy at first, but memorize his schedule and make the best out of the time when you’re both free.
Don’t let insecurity get to you
After all, it’s the voices inside your head that are the villain of your story. Maybe you don’t see him daily, and even when you do, he’s fretting about his kids, and that’s because it is his second nature to worry about them for no apparent reason. If he’s not into you, he will let you down instead of spending his minimal time with you and if he makes time to see you, then you know he is really into you.
Be helpful
There’s a solution to his endless to-do list: an extra set of hands to help him. He’ll always be thankful to you for the little things you can do to shorten his list of chores. You can make dinner, help clean his place and if the kids are comfortable with you, help them with their school assignments and pick them up from school sometimes.
Please don’t be jealous of his children.
It sounds shallow, but it is a possibility. It’s hard to understand the dynamics of single parenting if you are not a parent yourself. For you, bedtime stories might be a waste of time because the kids are going to sleep any way but always remember that no matter how hard you try, his kids will always be his priority.
Pros and Cons of Dating a Single Dad
Pros:
- Since the man is already raising kids, he is dad material.
- Again, protecting his kids is second nature to him, and that protection will extend to you if you get closer.
- The man is experienced enough to be called wise and mature.
- A single man is primarily looking for a serious relationship.
- He is sensitive and understanding.
- He doesn’t care how you look as long as you have a kind heart.
- He won’t be a helicopter partner, so you get your personal space too.
Cons:
- He will not be able to invest a ton of time into the relationship
- You are not his priority.
- The mother of his children is still in the picture.
- No lavish trips and gifts.
- His kids might not like an intruder.
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Conclusion
To conclude, it should be pointed out that the pros outnumber and outvalue the cons of dating a single dad. Hence, there is no reason for you to stop your connection with him only because he has kids. Give him a chance, be patient, and everything will be fine.
FAQs
Is it okay to date a single dad?
It is entirely okay to date a single father. Don’t hold back if you feel an actual bond just because of his children.
Do single dads prefer single moms?
Single dads might not prefer single moms because their busy schedules will keep clashing with each other, leaving no space for a relationship between the two.
Do single fathers make better parents?
Single fathers make better parents as they have had the experience with their children.