A relationship is always a roller coaster ride. There will be moments of joy and sorrow both. You should always try to save the relationship and try to sail the boat even if it is drowning, you can show love by hitting a pick up line. Although, breaking up with someone you love is not an easy task. You need a lot of strength and power within yourself to take this step.
Even after making all the efforts, you feel to break up with your partner, you should do it nicely. Do not hurt your partner on the basis of humanity. keep the following things in mind before you break up with them.
Things to keep in mind before breaking up
Make sure you actually want to break up
A breakup is not something that you do today and forget tomorrow. Before jumping on to any conclusion make sure that you want to break up with the person you love.
Before you tell them that you want to break up, sit for a while and talk to yourself. It might just be an emotional reaction out of anger. Ask yourself if your heart wants to forgive your partner and you want to continue your romantic relationship.
This is very important because once you said you want to separate your ways, it will then be a tough row to hoe. You cannot patch up easily.
Give the conversation some thought
Once you are sure that the only way to break up with the person you, give you thought to your breakup conversation make sure you break up with dignity. Think about how will you tell them so that they do not feel insulted and more importantly they should not feel any regrets about the beautiful time you both had in past.
It is pretty sure that it will cause damage to you both but don’t be too aggressive or abusive while talking to them about the breakup.
Acknowledge that you won’t be able to control their reaction
As soon as you will tell them that you want to breakup with them, they will be broken, shattered, and will be in pain. You need to acknowledge that you will not be to control their reaction.
They might get aggressive or may react any way in the heat of the moment, you need to listen and see whatever they say, silently because it is a shocking situation for them.
Remind yourself that it is completely OK to break up
It really does not matter how you have prepared yourself for the breakup but as soon as you meet the person you love and when you will try to tell them about it, your heart will start melting for them.
You will start feeling guilty and you might also feel that you cannot live without them but at that time you need to remind yourself that it is completely OK. Tell yourself that it will all be fine and you will be alright!
Know that it will hurt
Even if you have made up your mind completely and you are ready for the breakup, the reality will be different. you were already hurt and were in pain but when you will actually open them about the breakup, know that it is gonna hurt badly.
Suddenly you will have a flashback of all the good moments and it will hurt immensely to think about a life without whom you thought are your life!
How to break up with someone nicely
Deliver news face-to-face
Having a breakup conversation is better than doing it over a phone call or text. Your partner deserves a closure conversation, face-to-face. Indeed it will be very hard for you to meet them and tell them that you want to break up with them, but this is something you both owe.
Pick up appropriate setting
Although there is no right setting for breaking up a romantic relationship choose a place where your partner does not feel uncomfortable. Choose a place where you can sit and talk in peace without any disturbance and pour your hearts out.
If you fear that your partner might get aggressive and if you feel unsafe, choose a public park and talk there. Make your safety a priority because no one can predict the reaction of your partner in such situations.
Accept that it’s probably going to be painful
If you guys were in a serious and long-term relationship, it is pretty obvious that it’s gonna hurt. It is not going to be easy for anyone of you. In that situation, no matter how much you explain yourself, it will not satisfy them.
Try not to go so deep into the conversation, because it will hurt more. Just try to end your romantic relationship on a positive note.
Use “I” statements
You know it’s you who has decided to separate ways with your partner, so make sure you take responsibility for it. Use “I” statements while the breakup conversation. Do not drag them into the reasons for your breakup, just say “I”. It will be a healthier way of ending it.
You better say the truth directly to your partner. Do not confuse them by giving hints. Acknowledge that it is best for both of you, the more hints you give, the lengthier will be the conversation and it will become difficult for you to handle the situation.
Keep the focus on Relationship
Do not try to bring faults in your partner, it will sound toxic. Just focus on the robles of your relationship and tell them why is it not working for you. Make sure that they are not bad partners, neither you are, but it is just something that is causing hurt to the relationship.
Don’t leave things open-ended
Do not end the things open-ended, like giving them false hope for the future, or be in touch forever( which you can’t). So it will be better if you stick to the truth. It’s better to hurt them now than forever.
Do not make false promises
There will be a situation when you will them that you wanna part your ways out, they will react emotionally. They might ask you to make some promises like you will meet them once a month or anything, just do not agree to them if you cannot make it. Keep a clean breakup conversation. Do not make false promises and do not set a high expectation bar, it will hurt more.
Things to keep in mind after breaking up
Do not try to be friends right away
It is said that a friendship can be converted into a relationship easily but it is not possible to be friends after a relationship. Nothing remains the same. Do not try to be friends with your partner after the breakup.
It will lead to more pain, suffering, depression, jealousy, and heartbreak. You just be stuck on to them.
Set boundaries with your ex
Make distance with your ex. Try to avoid contact with them until and unless it is very important. Make sure you have physical and emotional distance as well. The after-breakup thoughts will overwhelm you and you will think of contacting them, try to control your feelings.
Avoid social media talking
Don’t be a stalker on social media. Let your ex breathe and let them live a happy life on their own terms. Set them free.
Stalking them will break your heart. Whenever they will update or post something you will become addicted to checking it and this can be hazardous for your mental health.
Know your “why” and stand your ground
Keep reminding yourself of the reason why did you break up with them and it will help you not to go back to them again. You should recall why it did not work for you.
You should stand on the ground after your breakup. Do not change your decision, again and again, be firm to it.
Not every relationship lasts long. It’s easy to fall in love but it’s difficult to stay in love. A relationship does not work only on the basis of love. There are lot more factors that make it work. Trust, efforts, care, understanding, and commutation are the main elements of a relationship.
You feel a need of breaking up with your partner. Remember that you break up with dignity. Whatever has happened between you both, remember you should not disrespect or abuse them on any grounds. The break-up should be done in a healthy manner.
How do I know when to break up with someone?
When you find something is off, bitterness arrives, you fight more, and you crave love even when they are there with you.
What are the challenges of breakup?
Struggle when you see them around, handling their lies, leaving them behind, and frustration.
How do you feel after a breakup?
You feel lost and lonely, heartache, pain, lack of love and affection, you miss them in little things of everyday life.
Can you stay close to someone after a breakup?
Friendship is possible after a breakup but it is rare as it’s painful. There is no other way out.