Everyone is doomed to have at least one person in the course of their life who will cause some intense but unwanted emotions. Whether it is the emotion of love, loneliness, longing, anger, hate, fear, etc. It can get somewhat frustrating if you are unable to lock the doors of your brain in that person’s face.
That’s not always the neat path you will find it to be. So how to stop thinking about someone? This person could be a rival colleague, an ex, a disloyal friend, a crush, or an evil relative.
How to Stop Thinking About Someone
There is no straight out of a rulebook answer to how to stop thinking about someone. You just need to say, ‘mind, your wandering times are over. No more aimless thoughts of someone you can’t have. Here are some rules and regulations that must be followed from now on
Stop stalking on Social Media.
At the risk of being titled as cliché, it should be said that it is easy to fall prey to petty things such as stalking in this hyper cyber world. How to not think about someone? Stop stalking them first!
Resist, toss and reject the urge to know what someone is up to nowadays, where they have been, who they are with, how they are doing. Pull the break on your insane need to become Sherlock Holmes and investigate all their social media platforms. As long as you are tracking everything they do, you will never be able to get your mind and yourself over them.
No contact rules
This rule evidently states that the person you are trying not to think about should be off contact, physically and online. Block them on all your socials, delete pictures, videos, chats, etc.
Avoid going to places they often visit, like their favourite cafe. Please don’t go to a party you know they will be coming to. In brief, just detach yourself from them. If you need to talk to them about something that can’t be avoided, use a friend as a medium between the two of you.
Stumbling into them will totally reverse your’ getting over them’ process, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
Divert your mind
How to stop thinking about someone you can’t have? This goes without saying that if you want to stop thinking about someone, you need other things to keep you and your mind occupied because, as the proverb goes, ‘an empty mind is a devil’s workshop.’
Unless you are stuck deep into it, overthinking is not a pattern you see and it is never good. It causes stress, confusion, frustration, and hence an abundance of sadness. Keep your day planned in a way where you don’t have time to sit and wonder about your life choices or the person you need to get off your mind.
Maybe a friendly get-together with friends or family is just what is right to divert your mind.
Forgive to forget
We all know that forgiving someone who hurt you awfully is a tremendous boon you can give them. It is also an immense boon you can offer to yourself. Letting go of the anger, the grudge, and the bitterness to relieve yourself from these spiteful emotions will only help you heal and get over that said person.
Holding on to such feelings will slow, if not completely stop. Your progress is not thinking about them. You don’t have to issue a forgiving public statement or even tell that person.
In your head, you should be sure that you have forgiven them. By forgiving them, you can forget about them. Now wasn’t that your goal?
Respect yourself
This is the most notable thing out of all. You will never find the answer to how to get someone off your mind if you keep beating yourself up for it in your head. Often, we try to overvalue someone’s perfects over their flaws even if they didn’t treat us rightly. This overvaluation only leads to self-loathing and regret.
You deserve better. So instead of wondering about the person who mistreated you, think about yourself. Treat yourself in the way you want others to treat you. Love yourself, take care of yourself and respect yourself, and do not dwell over someone who can’t do all that for you.
Let yourself feel the pain.
Rushing through the healing process and pretending that you have got it all together when in reality you are just trying not to burst out any second might be enough to fool everyone but not yourself. You will always know.
It is unfeasible to let go of someone when you are not really over them, and you haven’t had the proper time to grieve over their absence. So, let yourself feel all the pain instead of bottling it up in your heart because letting go does not mean that the heartache never happened. It means that it doesn’t affect you anymore.
Avoid substances
When you can’t stop thinking about someone, it is convenient to drop down to careless options like substances, i.e., alcohol and drugs. They might give you the state of bliss you so terribly want, but the after-effects are not worth anything.
Also, during that state of bliss, since you don’t have your wits about you, you have more chances of contacting the person that made you drink in the first place. Don’t let the person you are trying to throw out of your mind be so powerful as to be the reason for your unhealthy habits. So, do yourself a favor and don’t lean towards substances when you feel low.
Ask yourself, what does this person really mean to me?
How do you stop thinking about someone? Counter question: what does that person really mean to you! Think about whether what they mean to you is somewhat equivalent to what you mean to them. If what you had with them was worth anything. Ask yourself these questions and face the answers without running away from them.
Only when you know and are sure about all the answers can you let go, move on and not think about that person. Otherwise, you are just running around in an endless loop trying to hold on to something that does not exist anymore.
Remind yourself why it didn’t work out
As said before, we often put people who hurt us on an elevated platform because it is easy for us to forget about the fact that they mistreated us. We forget all their flaws and shine a bright beam over only their perfects which leads us to believe that life without them is only a waste.
It would be best to remind yourself why your relationship didn’t work out with that person. It would be best if you remembered that life with them is not all perfect as you imagine it is. Remember that without that person, your life is not a waste and that there is so much to come.
Work on your flaws
Maybe it didn’t work out with that person because of you and your flaws. Maybe your flaws were unbearable, a deal-breaker for that person. So, it is not the time for wallowing in your sorrows, and it is time to get to work.
What was it that drove them away? Too soon, too fast? Or maybe too slow? Your obsession or your nonchalance? Your habits? Your behavior? Figure that out and work on those flaws to get better in the future because each failed relationship teaches a lesson that makes you a better partner in the next one.
Give it time
You might have done everything on this list, but it didn’t work, and you are still asking yourself, ‘why can’t I stop thinking about someone?’ That’s because you are rushing it and Rome wasn’t built in a day. Generally, it takes four months to get over a crush and more than six months to get over an ex.
This list will help you get over them, but you need to have patience in order for it to work. Maybe you are still thinking about them after a week following this list, but that doesn’t mean you are flopping. Just follow this, and you will soon find yourself out of this situation.
Remember that it will all pass.
You can’t just hit a button that will make you stop obsessing over someone. It is not easy; it will take time. It may not happen today or tomorrow, or this week, but you will get to the final stage of how to stop having feelings for someone sooner rather than later.
It would be best if you stopped believing that you will be forever haunted by the memories of the person you don’t want to think about because that’s far from the truth, which is that this sadness will only last for a while, and you will come out of it more robust.
Don’t slip into misery.
It is not fun to stare at the bathroom across the room, thinking you should take a shower but deciding against it while falling back in bed just like you have already done for the past three days. It is not cool to stay idle and ponder about how depressing your life has become, how far away from what you had imagined as a kid.
Do NOT let misery grasp you with both her hands. Keep busy all the time, especially when you feel you are slipping into despair because once you go down that rabbit hole, it is next to impossible to come out unscathed.
Talk to someone else!
It is never a bad idea to let someone else carry a part of the weight of your problems. After all, there is only so much a human being can hold on to. You can get professional help, a life coach to see you through this time, or you can lean on a friend or a family member, anyone who will listen justly and willingly.
It doesn’t matter who you rant about your problems to. What matters is that you have to get it out of your system to keep yourself from bursting out. Journaling is also a popular way to let go of all the bad energy.
look forward with excitement.
How do you stop thinking about someone? Instead, think about all the fun and joy you are going to have without them. There is no gain in dwelling on the thing of the past since you can’t really change it but that doesn’t mean that you are forever doomed with the sadness that came along with it because that will go away sooner than you think.
Plan things with people who care about you, go out and just be busy until you don’t have to be. Live your life to the fullest and look forward with excitement because good things are coming your way.
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Conclusion
It isn’t straightforward to toss someone out once you have got someone stuck in your head but if you follow this quick guide on how to stop thinking about someone, we assure you that you will find yourself in a better place in only a matter of days.
The primary key is to unfriend, unfollow and block that person from all the social media platforms and be so busy that you don’t have any time to think about them. Don’t make them the hero in your head and get help if dealing with this all on your own gives you a tough time.
FAQs
What does it mean when you can’t get someone off your mind?
When you can’t get someone out of your mind, it usually means you are fascinated with them. The other reason could be that they inspire you.
Why does it feel horrible to stop texting someone?
It feels horrible to stop texting someone because humans have an innate need to please everyone. If someone’s messing with your mental health, you should stop texting them no matter how horrible it feels.
Why it’s hard to stop thinking about someone?
It can be hard to stop thinking about someone because you need to make your mind believe that thinking about them is not helpful, which is easier said than done.