Anyone who has been a victim of being cheated has asked this question to themselves: “Why do ?” According to infidelity statistics, 40% of unmarried and 25% of married relationships encounter at least one case of infidelity, the act of cheating on one’s partner during their . It is important to show love to your partner by spending time together.
Cheating is not just about sex. People can have affairs without engaging in sexual activity with the third person. For some people, even thinking about wanting to be with someone else is cheating.
We’ve all seen movies or read books about cheating in relationships, but they don’t convey well the turmoil in the cheater’s head. Let’s take Marie and Robert, for example, to understand why people cheat on their partners.
Why do people cheat on people they love?
There is no single reason for cheating in a relationship. Things go wrong in relationships, but just as no two fingerprints are the same, no two brains work the same way. Marie thought a healthy argument might be a brutal end-of-relationship fight for Robert, causing Robert to commit the heinous act of cheating, thinking Marie is acting ‘shitty.’
A lack of intimacy
Lack of intimacy mostly happens in long distance relationships. Once a couple has gotten past knowing each other physically, and the first-time thrill is lost, they get complacent in their sex life. The ecstatic connection turns monotonous over time, leading to cheating in a relationship.
Emotional intimacy is a delicate concept. A relationship without an emotional connection is more or less like a mobile phone without its charger. The battery will die in the end.
For some people, emotional intimacy is ‘being there,’ but that’s not enough for many others. So, instead of leaving the relationship for good, they seek comfort in the arms of someone else.
Neglect in a relationship
People say when you feel ignored by the person whose attention matters to you the most, you feel a pain similar to physical pain. Respect is ‘give and take,’ and so is affection. If Robert stops listening to Marie about her day because he is busy, Marie will feel neglected.
Humans have a psychological need to be heard and patted on the back for little things, and when they don’t get that support from their partner, they take it from anywhere they can, most likely a co-worker.
Most people consider it their job to ‘teach others a lesson for their misdeeds.’ If Robert did something as minor as spilled tea on Marie’s shirt or as significant as cheating on their relationship, Marie, with anger issues, wants ultimate revenge by doing the same [cheating on him]. People who seek revenge are seldom happy as they are devoted to playing sick mind games.
Falling out of love
It is the most common problem in relationships. If couples avoid cheating due to lack of intimacy, there’s no escape here from the inevitable end. If Marie is feeling no affection towards Robert, but she is continuing the relationship for the sake of feeling sensible, one of them will get bored with the same routine sooner rather than later and get attracted to other people.
They have low self-esteem
Self-esteem is the most significant trouble maker during times like these. Some people constantly need someone to tell them that whatever they are doing is right, that it matters, that they count. Low self-esteem is because of troubles from childhood or past relationships that are still not resolved, as self-validation is not talked about as often as it should be.
Many insecure people gravitate towards those who give them the validation they seek. If Robert is not appreciated by Marie but by another person, Robert will develop feelings for them eventually.
Their love isn’t sincere
More people than you can imagine are lying about their feelings. They hide other incentives, like promotion, money, stability, or lust, under the lie that they love their partner. When their love isn’t real, it’s more than easy for them to cheat as they don’t have to carry the guilt of it in the future.
People like this can also be considered selfish as they went into a relationship lying, and they didn’t even care to think for their partner before cheating on them. If Robert only wants Marie for a promotion, he is eyeing [without Marie’s knowledge], he can easily get attracted to somebody else.
They’re in the habit of cheating
It is directly related to low self-esteem as people who cheat in relationships are more often than not trying to validate themselves. They want someone else to appreciate them before they can appreciate themselves. So, if they don’t get support from their partner, they cheat and if Marie has cheated in past relationships, it shouldn’t surprise Robert if she cheats on their relationship too. As a wise person once said, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”
They’re downright selfish
A person’s actions speak louder than their words, especially if selfishness is one of them! Once they are ambushed in their affair, these people will neither blame nor be guilty. Instead, they might even blame their partner for not keeping them ‘satisfied’ and ‘loved.’ According to them, it’s okay if they cheat, but their partner shouldn’t even think about such shameless acts. Two-faced rats!
Marie is selfish and doesn’t care much if Robert will feel hurt if she cheats. She will also make sure that Robert can’t cheat on her under any circumstances.
They enjoy the thrill
Ah, thrill. Quite many people cheat on their partner just for the joy of it and that only says one thing about the cheater that they are WICKED. Doing something wrong gets them as excited as getting close to the cheating person. The forbidden affair and feeling of getting caught matter more to them than their partner or the third person.
People like this are more prone to cheating as they don’t want their partners’ stability but the excitement an outsider provides.
What Does Cheating Say About a Person?
One thing cheating screams is that person is insecure. They want all the attention you can give them as they constantly need self-validation that they are doing things right. Otherwise, they are going to find it somewhere else.
Cheating also pretty much says that person is not ready for another relationship unless he comes to terms with what he did in his previous relationship and why. Most importantly, that person might have unresolved issues from their past, making them selfish and wicked. If a person cheats, it might prove their love is not sincere.
The act of infidelity is not as uncommon as you’d like it to be. Everyone knows an unfaithful person, but we don’t say anything, making the cheated person the last one to know. Would you want to be the last one to see that you’re being cheated?
All of the above problems root in the monster, miscommunication. Always communicate with your partner even if both of you are drifting away from each other, and it doesn’t matter anymore.
Let’s thank Marie and Robert for their endless support!
What’s the most common reason people cheat?
The most common reason people cheat is miscommunication, as all the problems start with not saying the right words or not saying anything at all.
What is the difference between a cheating partner and an abusive one?
There’s a thin line between the two, but an abusive partner will make you feel small, unheard, insulted, and might hurt you physically.
What is Selfishness?
Selfishness is when someone thinks of themselves better and above everyone else around them. A selfish person will never take the blame and apologize.
What are the warning signs?
If you’re looking closely, even the smartest liar leaves clues behind. You might notice your partner drawing away from you gradually.
What are the signs of being emotionally immature?
A person is emotionally immature if they never take the blame. They will always lash out when you accuse them of something instead of giving a reasonable explanation.