As thrilling as it might sound, dating a single mom is equally challenging. Most certainly, it is way different from dating a woman without children. Since dating a single mom is a unique experience in itself, this feeling brings along a whole new set of responsibilities. Even if you’re dating a single mother, it is important to make them feel special, you can hit a pick up line and much more.[toc]
Tips for dating a single mom
Recognize that it’s different
If you’re dating a single mother, the primary thing you need to focus upon is your expectations from the current relationship. You might have been able to gauge your previous partner’s feelings depending upon the time and energy they put into the relationship. But, now the scenario is different.
A single mom’s time gets divided between you and her children. So, you both might be able to see each other as frequently as you might want to. Also, a lot of her energy goes into taking care of her kids. Therefore, you will have to read in between the lines and look for other gestures she does to show her love for you. You can also ask her relationship questions.
Understand her priorities
Most certainly, a single mother’s children are number one on her list of priorities. You have to accept and embrace this fact if you’re dating a single mother. A single mom’s relationship with her children is usually exclusive and highly intense. You will have to learn to acknowledge the same and not feel jealous about it.
Since her children are her priority, you need to respect the close bond she shares with them and allow her to direct things at her own pace. Her kids might even feel insecure about their mother dating someone but you need to give yourself time to get comfortable with the children and vice versa.
Be flexible about scheduling
A single mother has a pile of responsibilities on her shoulders. She has to maintain a balance between working and taking care of her children. This often leads to busy schedules and makes her available only for a limited period.
You might have to re-schedule your dates with her so that things don’t do out of sync for her. If her child gets sick an hour before when you both had plans to meet, you must be flexible enough to respect her priority and re-schedule the date.
Don’t worry about jumping in as a father
If you’re dating a single mom, you don’t need to play the role of a father in her kids’ life. You can just remain her partner and still be supportive of her kids. Being a father to her kids brings along tremendous responsibilities.
Since you haven’t become a father yet, don’t pressurize yourself to act like one just because you are dating a single mother. Take your time to get comfortable around her kids and also give time to open up to you. Make sure you’re ready to take responsibility before heading further in the relationship.
Remember that she’s more than a mom
If you are dating a single mother, you must know that your partner has children and that they will always remain her priority. Being a single mother, she is capable, smart, and flexible.
A single mother knows exactly what she wants from a committed relationship. Know that she is so much more than just a mom. Give her all the love she deserves, spoils her with your attention and never miss a chance of making her laugh.
Care about her kids
Since a single mother’s priority happens to be her kids, she expects that you too will care for her kids as if they were your own. No, you don’t have to try becoming their father for that.
Spend time with her kids and try to get comfortable with them so they can also get comfortable with their mother’s new partner.
Be there for her emotionally
A single mother is under the immense pressure of providing financial and emotional stability to her kids. She invariable goes through uncountable challenges every single day. If you can help her with some of those, make sure she does not have to face all of them alone.
Even if you can’t offer her a solution to a problem, just be there to listen without asking questions. She will not only acknowledge but also greatly appreciate the emotional support and encouragement you provide her with. Be fully present in every conversation you have and practice active listening.
Be willing to help out
While dating a single mother, you can come across more challenges than you had imagined. However, always try your best to be supportive and have the willingness to help her with anything and everything you’re capable of.
Don’t shy away or be scared to help her when situations get tough. Instead, stick with her through the hard times, help her as much as you can and you will certainly see your relationship with her getting better each day.
Make every second together count
While a single mother might not be able to spare all day for her partner, make sure that whatever little time you both spend together is sheer golden moments. A single mother has a lot of work to get done. She might not be always available for you.
Here, you have to ensure that you make every second that you both spend together, count as a blessing for the two of you. Put in extra efforts if required but make sure that you do not miss out upon this aspect.
Respect your partner’s boundaries
A single mother is very likely to have drawn boundaries around her. If you’re dating her, you have to be a keen observer of what those boundaries are and then respect them wholeheartedly.
You should not try to invade the boundaries your partner has set. Rather, you should give them the right amount of time and acceptance so that they naturally open up to you.
Do some old-fashioned courting when dating a single mom
The concept of courting deals with a slow and systematic approach towards knowing your partner. Built of shallow intimacy, old-fashioned courting enhances the romantic quotient in your relationship.
Along with fulfilling her responsibilities in the role of a mother, she has all the rights to enjoy romance and love in her life. Courtship will help you get closer to her – intimately and emotionally.
Remember that you have an impact on your partner’s children, too
You certainly have an impact on your partner’s children. It is completely okay if her kids do not like you much in the initial days of your relationship.
You have to ensure that you give them the time and space to open up to you about themselves. Since you’re not a father yet, things might not come to you naturally but keep trying consistently and see how that makes a difference.
Take it slow
Remember to not become too involved too soon. A single mother is already invested in her children. If you wish to be a part of her family, make it clear. Even if you’re not whether or not, or how much you wish to be involved with the children, communicate it to her.
Don’t rush into taking up a role that you’ll not be able to hold for a long time. Give sufficient time to your relationship for developing and growing into a beautiful one. Focus on building trust before taking your amazing relationship to the next level.
Don’t pass judgment
Single women with kids are often judged by society for the parenting choices they make. The last person they would want judgment from is their partner. Passing judgments will only become the reason for differences between you two.
Understand that it takes a lot of guts to choose to be a single parent. Respect your partner’s decision and try to empathize with them as much as you can. View her choices from a helpful and compassionate perspective instead of judging why she does what she does.
Single mom dating do bring along a lot of challenges but it can be a beautiful experience too. If you desire to move ahead in a relationship with a single mother, you have to understand her and her kids well. You must provide them with a sense of support and belongingness to make the relationship successful.
What do single moms want in a man?
Single moms want their partners to never forget that their kids will always be their priority. They also look for support, acceptance, compassion, love, and care in a man.
Is dating single moms too complicated?
No, you just need to give her time, be supportive, accept her body and thought process, and remember that her kids are her first priority.
Why do guys date single moms?
The reason behind guys dating single moms is that they know these women are seeking a stable relationship. A single mother’s strength and capability drive men towards them.