The feeling of rejection is unpleasant, and rejecting someone over text can be an awkward conversation to do without hurting them. It is important that we turn down a person kindly so that they don’t take it personally. A majority of people might feel unworthy or that they aren’t good enough.
Also, text messages can confuse people as they include some pickup lines, funny jokes and much more. It’s difficult to convey our genuine emotions, tone, and gestures.
Why Does Rejection Hurt?
Rejections trigger our brain the same way physical pain does. Scientists have proved this after a detailed study. People feel unworthy and blame themselves when they faced rejection. Hence, it is crucial to reject someone without hurting their self-esteem.
How To Reject Someone Nicely
1. Be clear and honest
Being honest and clear about your feelings will be beneficial for both of you. No one likes to be given false hopes and ideas. It is better to express the way you feel to avoid complications.
You can try saying: “I appreciate your feelings towards me, but I don’t feel the same way about you.”
2. Try complimenting
Facing rejections is not pleasant. It affects a person’s self-esteem and self-confidence. Compliment the other person so that it boosts their confidence and makes them feel better.
For example, say: “You’re a wonderful person and I’m flattered by your proposal. Unfortunately, I’m not interested. I appreciate you being respectful.”
3. Refrain from apologizing
We tend to apologize for the time and effort a person puts into a relationship. Though you may feel you have wasted your partner’s time – you don’t need to apologize for your emotions. Incompatibility is a valid enough reason to reject someone.
Say something like: “I really appreciate your interest and effort, but I cannot move forward with your proposal because I’m already talking to someone else and it wouldn’t be fair to both of you.”
4. Explain your side
When people face rejection, they become curious and confused about what went wrong. So, it is nice to inform the person why you do not want to get yourself involved in a romantic relationship.
Try saying: “Hey! You’re an amazing person. But I’m looking for someone who loves adventure and travel. And you’re an indoor person, which is great! But I don’t think our personalities match.”
5. Appreciate the time spent with them
We all take time off from busy schedules to go on a date or to hang out with people. It would sound rude if we do not appreciate their time and effort.
Acknowledge them for being available for you and explain why you want to discontinue the relationship.
6. Do not keep them waiting
Nobody likes to be kept waiting or be ghosted. When we don’t have the complete picture, we fill in the gaps ourselves. There’s a possibility that the person blames themselves. Or may even misinterpret and think they still have a chance with you.
If you are sure that you aren’t interested, then it’s better to convey this message as quickly as possible.
7. Be sweet but firm
Rejecting a person over text can be misleading and may also sound rude because the other person cannot see your gesture or facial expression. It’s nice to make sure your tone is sweet yet firm, conveying a clear message.
8. Tell them you need to focus
We all reach a point in life where our career becomes priority. It’s nothing wrong with focusing on ourselves. Make sure the other person knows that you concentrating on your job or studies.
Here’s a suggestion: “I know we have spent time together for quite some time together. But I really need some time to figure out myself and my future goals in life. And I’m not in a mental space to be in a romantic relationship.”
9. Be straightforward
It is very rude to leave a person in the dark. If you have already made up your mind to reject someone, then be honest and straightforward about your reasons.
Avoid sending messages like: “I’ll get back to you” or “give me some time to think.”
10. Put it on yourself
Rejections are harsh to face, so it would be nice if you don’t criticize the other person. Rather, put it on your behaviour and drawbacks.
Try saying: “I respect the way you feel for me. But I’m not a person who stays loyal for a long time. You deserve someone better.”
11. Refrain from sending mixed signals
Be clear about your decision first, before you reject someone. Avoid giving false expectations to the other person if you aren’t sure about your feelings.
If you need time to think, then let them know about this. Even so, do not keep them waiting for your response.
This will make them feel you are open to changing your mind in the future, giving them false hopes.
12. Blame it on your personalities
Nobody feels nice to be at the receiving end of a rejection. Explain that your personalities are different because incompatibility is a valid reason to reject someone.
You could be an introvert and your partner – an extrovert. Or maybe you enjoy partying, but your partner hates loud music.
13. Say the time is not right.
There may be a point in life where we are more focused on studies or looking after a sick member of our family. Taking time off for a relationship, or to spend time with a romantic partner, could be difficult.
14. Need sometime from an old relationship
We all need some time to get over a previous relationship. It could be because of a toxic relationship or you need time to focus on yourself. It is always better to heal yourself before getting involved with another person.
Here’s a message template: “Thank your kind words and compliments. Frankly, I’m not ready for a romantic relationship yet because I still need some time to heal from my previous relationship.”
15. Tell them you are dating someone
This could be a polite way to say that you are not interested. The other person may still feel hurtful, but at least they wouldn’t blame their own shortcomings.
For instance, say: “Hey! I’m really flattered by your proposal. Unfortunately, I’m already seeing someone else.”
16. Avoid misleading them
It is crucial that we express our intentions and feelings clearly to avoid confusion. Avoid using terms like “maybe”, “I think”, “might”, also void asking or answering relationship questions. This will only mislead the other person into thinking that there may still be a chance with you.
Thank them for asking and be straightforward with your response.
Confessing your love to a person is not easy, and facing rejection is worse. It is important that you reject a person politely without sounding rude.
Sharing unwelcome news over text can sound confusing if you don’t be direct and clear about your thoughts.
If you have already decided, then avoid sending any mixed messages or making them wait long. The best rule to follow is to reject the other person the way you would want to be rejected.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I reject someone?
Treat them the way you would like to be treated. Be humble and get to the point. You accept it will hurt the person, but that shouldn’t stop you from being honest.
How do you reject a guy?
Men prefer a straight-up and honest answer. Be direct and specific about your emotions when you reject. Do not play around the bush and give indirect hints.
What are the best excuses to reject a girl over text?
The best excuse is, to be honest. Say you don’t feel the spark in the relationship anymore.
How do I tell someone that you don’t want to date them?
You can politely reject by saying you’re out of a serious relationship. Convey that you’re not emotionally ready for a relationship.
What is the best way to avoid rejection?
Take a step back and focus on self-care. Process and accept your emotions. Spend time with people who love you.