Are you feeling uncomfortable taking the next step into a committed relationship? If yes, then it can be because of commitments issues. Commitment issues can be harmful to any romantic relationship. It can stop you from getting into long-term relationships. And can make you doubt your relationship. Therefore, it becomes important to look for signs of commitment issues and work on it by simple things like a discussion with your partner, and much more.
What are Commitment Issues?
We also know commitment issues such as commitment phobia and relationship anxiety. One can use these terms to explain the meaning of commitment issues. It refers to the fear of committing to a long-term relationship. It can have many negative effects even in healthy relationships, especially in a long-distance relationship. This can apply to people already in relationships and people who have started dating.
What Causes Commitment Issues In Relationships?
Fear of the relationship ending without notice or signs
Sometimes people’s relationships end with no notice, because of such experience they fear. This leads them to have attachment issues.
Fear of not being in the “right” relationship
Some people are afraid of getting into a relationship that may not be right for them. It can make them question whether they will be able to grow in the relationship. This makes them avoid commitments.
Fear of being in an unhealthy relationship
Sometimes people are afraid of getting into unhealthy relationships. This fear makes them avoid any romantic relationship. It can also happen because of unhealthy relationships in the past.
Childhood trauma or abuse
Sometimes traumas and abuse haunt people all their life. And they can also complicate it because of young age or other factors. Having such trauma can make someone avoid any relationship. And they get afraid of emotional attachment with anyone.
Complicated family dynamics while growing up
Toxic and unpleasant family dynamics can also be a reason for commitment issues. It can be because they grew up in a surrounding that had such relationships. Such experiences would make you have a negative opinion about relationships.
Signs that Someone has Commitment Issues
Lack of emotional attachment.
Emotions can be very vital for having healthy relationships. If someone lacks emotional attachment, they may have commitment issues. Because avoiding emotional attachment they save themselves from getting into a relationship.
Delayed response to calls and texts.
Ignoring calls and texts is a way to express that the other person is not interested. if it happens randomly then it can be a sign of commitment issues and it may also lead to insecurity in a relationship. One can do this to detach themselves from relationships.
Flaky or inconsistent behaviour.
People with commitment issues behave weirdly. They can’t decide exactly what they want. They are unable to leave but are also afraid of commitments. This makes their behaviour flaky or they might look upset.
Nitpicky about small things.
A person with commitment issues starts nitpicking about trivial matters. This can be a way of avoiding personal commitments. By doing this they try to create a distance in romantic relationships.
Poor communication
People avoid communication to move away from committed relationships. One can often use this to avoid romantic attachment. If this keeps on happening irregularly, then it can be a sign.
A history of short-lived relationships
When people are afraid of commitments, they don’t have stable relationships. This happens because they keep on running away from commitments. So if you notice this in someone, they may have commitment issues.
Signs that you have commitment issues
You worry you don’t have a life anymore
With the fear of commitment, comes instability. And if you would never be stable, then you might often feel exhausted. This can lead to unhappy relationships. If something similar happens with you, then it can be a sign.
You don’t want to lose your freedom
You might have to be more responsible when you are in a relationship. Because of this, you might not do a few things like you used to. In such situations, fear of commitment can kick in. And you might feel you would lose your freedom in such situations.
You think your partner is demanding
Fear of commitment may make you feel that it’s your partner’s fault. You may try giving yourself an excuse that your partner is demanding. Your partners wish to be in a Long-term relationship may sound too much for you.
You don’t know who you are yet
It becomes difficult to choose what’s right if you don’t know yourself. This means that you haven’t given enough time to understand yourself. It can affect your decision-making with your romantic partner. All of this shows that you might have commitment issues.
You think the grass is always greener on the other side
When you have commitment issues, you may keep changing your partner. It can be because you think you would have a better relationship with someone else. If you keep on doing this, then it could be a sign of commitment phobia.
How to get over your commitment issues
Talk about it
Communication is key to solving a lot of problems in relationships. So, if you see any signs of commitment issues then share them with your partner. Talking to your partner would help in understanding things better. And your partner can also help you in overcoming this fear.
Learn about your attachment style
Knowing your attachment style would help you work on the root cause. You would need to understand what makes to feel affectionate. If you have an avoidant attachment style, a committed relationship would be tough for you. So, you would need to have a secure attachment to avoid this.
Consider couples’ therapy
Couples therapy can help you explore different ways of buildings healthy relationships. With this, you and your partner would understand each other’s goals. It can also be helpful when you are not sure what you want from a relationship. You can take the next step after having a better understanding.
Practice commitment in other areas of your life
Your struggle with commitments in a relationship can reflect in other things too. Practising commitment in such areas would help you fight your shortcomings. Make yourself habitual of keeping your words. Doing this can gradually help you in coping with a lack of commitment.
Consider whether monogamy is right for you
Not everyone is comfortable with long-term relationships. This does not mean you can’t cherish what you have. You need to understand whether monogamy is for you. Instead of forcing yourself, you need to talk about it. Share this with your partner so that they can understand you better.
What to do if you’re dating someone with commitment issues
It can be very tough to deal with anxieties around commitment. It becomes tough to be in a relationship with someone who struggles with commitments. It makes you doubtful and may lead to a bad relationship.
Give them some space
Give your partner space if he/she is dealing with commitment anxiety. This may help them figure out how to deal with it. Don’t question them and burden them with other demands.
Be patient
It’s better to wait and let your partner think what they want. Keep things slow instead of forcing commitment on your partner. Being patient and letting your partner take time would help them to decide what they want.
Be honest
You should be honest about what you want from the relationship. Being vague about your feeling would make things complicated. This would make them more afraid of commitment.
Try to understand their perspective
Try to understand your partner’s point of view. Talk to them so that you can figure out why they feel such away. When you would understand your partner better, you might be able to help them.
Don’t forget to care about yourself
Being in such a state of relationship can be daunting. While it is important to understand your partner and be there for them. It’s also important to take of yourself so that things can go well in a relationship.
Seek professional help
If none of the things seems to work out, then you can seek professional help. You can take couples therapy or individual therapy. A professional counsellor can provide more comprehensive ways to solve the issue.
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Final Thoughts
Just because you had commitment issues in past doesn’t mean you can’t get over it. You need to take baby steps to cope with it. Try to understand what works for you. Talk to your partner about how you feel about the relationship. You can also try taking therapy. This can help you get past your hurdles. And build a strategy for a healthy relationship.
FAQs
What is the commitment?
Commitment refers to a person’s dedication to a cause or activity.
What if I’m not planning for tomorrow?
You don’t need to make plans. It’s more important to have a healthy relationship.
What happens if you date the wrong people?
Dating wrong people can have negative effects on your life. It can cause mental and emotional distress.
Why do people not want to get married?
There can be many reasons for someone to not marry. One may not want to marry because of commitment issues too.