Knowing when to break up with someone can be a tough nut to crack. You may have many questions like how to know it is time to break up. What to say and how to say it. So, here are some breakup tips to save you from the worry of thinking all that. It’s always good to show love by hitting a pick up line.[toc]
When to Break Up with Someone
You keep breaking up and getting back together
When you have confusion about whether to stay in a romantic relationship, you might separate and come back together again and again. In such cases, it is possible that you might not feel a strong connection with each other. Also, you will start wondering why are you staying together at all.
You’re doing all the sacrificing
When both romantic partners make some sacrifices, it proves that they care for each other. If you find you are the only person who is constantly making all the efforts for your partner, then you may start experiencing feelings of anxiety and unhappiness.
You can’t trust them
If your significant other hides things or keeps lying to you, then it is very obvious that you might get feelings of doubt. These feelings can grow over time and can poison your relationship. If the trust issue continues, then it might be time to break up.
You’ve grown apart
When it becomes difficult to express your feelings or share your interests, you might start feeling disconnected from your partner. It is quite possible that when you both change or evolve with time, your feelings don’t align anymore.
Your major values aren’t aligned
If your goals and plans don’t align, it is a sign that you may not have a long-term relationship. If you want to focus on your career and your partner wants to settle down, then you can experience a conflict of interest.
You’ve stopped caring or putting in the effort
If you have stopped caring for your partner, then it is a sign that you don’t find your relationship interesting any longer. If you have stopped putting in the effort to check how their day was, it is a sign that things are not the same.
You’re experiencing physical or emotional abuse
An abusive relationship is a red flag relationship. There are certain limits that both parties need to take care of in a relationship. You cannot allow your partner to frighten or control you. Breaking up is the right choice if you are in a toxic relationship as it can affect your mental health.
You don’t like yourself
If you are in a relationship where you feel a lot of negativity. You don’t get the appreciation you deserve and you have to have criticism constantly. This can make you under-confident and you might not like yourself for being the way you are. That’s when you should think of breaking up.
You fight nonstop
Sweet fights are very common in a relationship. But when you fight over every minor issue, then it is a sign that it’s hard to continue things. When there are feelings of stress, frustration, and anxiety, a relationship cannot flourish.
You’re not getting your needs met
When your partner never takes your needs seriously, it’s time you move on. Every person expects their partner to be available in challenging times, it mostly happens in longs distance relationships. When you feel your partner isn’t fulfilling your needs, you cannot stay happy.
You think about breaking up all the time
A healthy relationship turns into an unhealthy relationship when you have to force things. There can be constant confusion about whether to continue the long-term relationship. This might disturb you mentally. In situations like this, it’s better to take a break.
How to Break Up With Someone in the Kindest Possible Way
Have an honest conversation
Tell your partner what’s not working for you. Tell them what is making you insecure. Explain your reasons honestly. If you’re feeling hurt, have open communication with no fear of judgment. It can be a difficult conversation but you need to face it with honesty.
Rekindle your connection
Give yourself space and time to think again if you really want to end the relationship. Write what you want to say and practice it in advance. This will help you communicate your thoughts effectively. Try to keep the conversation compassionate, honest, and non-blameful especially in long-distance relationships.
Seek professional help
A relationship expert can be helpful to provide enough support when you are going through a tough breakup. Experiencing a difficult breakup can lead to anxiety, stress, and depression. So, it is better to seek professional help.
Forgive one another
Forgiving one another will help you move on quickly. When you do not hold grudges, it becomes easier to focus on the good things in life. If you’ll forgive each other, you’ll definitely feel lighter. Also, do not carry any kind of guilt or regret in your heart.
Planing things can make you more comfortable. If you have been sharing space with your partner, then lookout for a place for yourself. You may need to consider all the expenses that might increase if you would live alone. Reach out to your friends and family if things are getting too tough.
Choose the right place to break up
Choose an appropriate place and schedule a particular time for the conversation. Unless it feels unsafe, it would be better to break up in person. It would be better to choose a private place as it would be more comfortable.
Clear things up before dating someone else
It’s important to have a clean break from your previous partner before dating someone else. Be clear of what your feelings are and your intentions. Give your reasons honestly without getting into long explanations.
Own the breakup
Try to be firm and say whatever things you have, to clear everything once and for all. Point out the issues but also tell them about the qualities that you saw in them. Tell them what made you choose them without making it long.
Avoid saying anything hurtful
Don’t play the blame game, just let them know the larger issues without going much into depth. Understand that this might already be tough for them, so avoid belittling. Be honest about the reasons you want to break up without insulting them.
Prepare for their reaction
It’s almost impossible to know what the other person’s response would be, but preparing will be helpful. You need to manage your expectations and just be ready for the worst. It’s possible that both of you end up with tears but that shouldn’t be your reason to stay.
Break-up Do’s and Don’ts
Dealing with people is very subjective, so you can’t have a straight-jacketed approach. Although, there always are some general do’s and don’ts you can follow to keep things better.
Take Your Time: Be honest with yourself and take your time to understand your feelings. Understand your wants and the reason behind your wants. Yes, the other person might get hurt but you need to choose what’s right for you. Prepare yourself for the conversation and be sensitive about their feelings.
Prepare Yourself: Think your partner may react after you would get to know about the breakup. When you would think about another person’s point of view, you would be more sensitive about their feeling. Think about what their reaction would be and how are you going to deal with it.
Don’t be Harsh: Pointing out the reasons for the breakup is important but you also need to be careful about how the other person feels. Don’t hit them with all the issues and differences straight away. Let them know what are the qualities that attracted you towards them in the first place.
Don’t Rush: Don’t finish things off in a hurry without thinking much. Let the other person speak their mind too. Always talk directly with your partner about your breakup instead of spreading the word around among your friends. Getting to know about the breakup is the last thing your partner would want.
Don’t Ignore: Often when people are not interested in a relationship, they ignore their partner. Trying to break up without facing your partner would make it tough for both you and your partner. Just talk to them and explain the reasons. It’s only after a good closure both of you could move on.
Don’t Badmouth Your Partner: It’s very important to be respectful and avoid spreading negative words about your partner. You need to understand that some things are private and it’s better to be kept between just your too.
Moving on From a Breakup With Someone You Still Love
Avoid Communication: The very 1st thing you should do is to avoid further communication with your partner. Talking even after a breakup would not help you move on. Because you are still in love with that person, talking with them would make you more vulnerable.
Don’t Dwell on Past: Holding on to memories will only make it worse. While it’s good to have memories, you need to understand that it’s over now. Otherwise, you may start overthinking and you may get overwhelmed with feelings. All of this may make you even more stressed.
Take Care of Yourself: Going through all this can be tough so don’t forget to take care of yourself. Stop doubting yourself and remember why you broke up. There was a reason you broke up, own your decision. Surround yourself with positivity and give yourself enough time to get over it.
Breakup conversation can be very daunting but you can do it if you follow the right steps. You would need to be sure about the reasons you want to break. Understand the warning signs of a bad relationship. See how you can break up while being understanding of another person’s feelings. Own your decision, take care of yourself and give yourself enough time to move on.
What are the signs of a disconnection?
Lack of care between partners, lack of compassion, and trust are some of the major signs of disconnection.
Is it possible to hold on to the past?
Yes, it is possible that you might still hold on to the past even after breaking up. It may happen because you still miss the time you shared.
What happens if your partner lies?
Confront your partner in such situations and communicate without making any assumptions.
What’s the difference between a happy relationship and an unhappy one?
One big difference between a happy and unhappy relationship is the understanding between partners.
What if the partner doesn’t want to work hard?
If this affects your relationship, then you need to talk with your partner. Clear things with him and make him understand why it affects your relationship.